Paperback Giveaway: A Very Proper Monster

I’m dashing in and dashing out today to share this gorgeous, gorgeous paperback with you. (So pretty…)

And giving you the chance to win it!

To enter, all you have to do is leave a comment on this post. What kind of comment?

If you were to die a dramatic gothic death in the 19th century, what would it be? Tragic death from consumption? Flinging yourself from precipice because of lost love? Shot in a duel by your former best friend? Lost at sea?

Morbid? HIGHLY. But let’s not take this too seriously, folks. We’re celebrating Josie and Tom’s book here, and we all know Josie is one for dramatic plot twists. Have fun with it.

So comment! Enter to win. This contest is open to international entries, and will run for a week.

And if you haven’t bought the e-book yet, here are the links!

Posted in Writing.

55 Comments

  1. If i had enemies, I probably would’ve died eating poisoned food. I love food, that’s how they would get me. LOL

  2. My death would have tragic (probably), in that while walking the street at night (no, not because of that…) I collapsed in a heap because my lady’s maid made my corset too tight, and no one was around to revive me by loosening (or ripping off) my corset. I would have been found the next morning, in the fog, with a look of despair on my face and a mysterious letter in my bodice… dun dun DAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Oh, and awesome question! Hahaha!!

  3. My sorrowful human life would be ended willingly. My new immortal life awaits as I discover what it means to really live, with my vampire lover.

  4. I would be walking the docks to listen to the ocean while I read my latest novel. Entirely distracted by an immensely passionate scene I’d step of the edge to my death by drowning.

  5. I would have been a pirate captain who died defending her crew and her ship against. My crew would mourn my passing, sung songs of my daring and valiant pirate deeds. As much as my crew would miss me, I was a generous leader, they were pirates so they would quickly move on. However, I would have been mourned most pitifully by my faithful French Bulldog, Babette. After my death, Babette would live out the rest of her life in luxurious comfort, cared for my heartbroken lover, a strapping young Welshman, who would have doted on my faithful hound as a way to deal with his grief.

  6. Stoned to death, sadly, for daring to run around in comfortable dress (trousers~gasp~), always going about without a chaperone, and being vocal and passionate. Probably rather passionate if I was stoned to death. 🙂

  7. I would die from a combination of poisoned wine, meant for my significant other by a vengeful mistress, and in my descent into the darkness, slipping onto the knife I was trying to use to stab my husband for having a mistress in the first place.

  8. While making a quick escape from my country home by a horse drawn carriage, because my older and deranged husband is hallucinating from some drug. I would be asking the driver to go faster on the uneven and treacherous road, only for the doors to fling open and throw me out. I would then be trampled by another horse drawn carriage coming in the opposite direction.

  9. As the town folk gather in the centre square for a fiesta, I will be falling from the tower of the derelict asylum to be impaled on the railings.
    No one will know who I am or where I have come from.
    My body will disappear in the confusion following a suddenly forming mini tornado that tracks through the square.

  10. I slip past the large wrought iron gates of the castle to see my beloved. I remembered to bring some lard to quiet the squeaky kitchen door I use to access the back stairs that lead to my prince’s room. I am only 2 steps from the glorious night that awaits me when I feel something bite me! I look down and see a black cat. It’s trying to get the lard on my hands! I see more green eyes glowing in the darkness and hear the hiss of the hungry beasts as they attack me! Losing my balance, I tumble back down the stone steps. I breathe a sigh of relief when I realize I’m not hurt from the fall. Just then I see the suit of armor to my left. I must have bumped it as it was wobbling. Before the scream left my mouth, the halberd sliced through my skull.

  11. I would be hit by a carriage on a foggy night while running from my true love after having jilted him, but I only did so because his life was threatened by nefarious persons unknown. As I lay dying he lifts me from the rain-drenched street and carries me into the park across the street from his townhouse so that we might exist alone together for one last moment.

  12. I receive a letter that my true love has been killed in a duel in Glasgow over an academic argument about the proper way to wear a kilt, never to return to our home on the foggy moor. I clutch the letter to my heaving chest and run to the cliff edge where I lose my footing and plummet to my untimely death.

  13. I would have wandered into the moors, chased by what I THINK is a large hound, but is really the son of the viscount, returned from war a slavering, foul smelling beast, bent on devouring me. After mauling me, his remorse forced him to seek help from the Witch of the Moors, who promises to revive me, but I won’t be the same… duh, duh, duun!

  14. It’s the dead of winter. My lover and I had a terrible fight after I witnessed his associate make advances toward him. Insulted by my lack of trust he stops the carriage, gets out to walk off his anger before resuming our heated discussion about appropriate hand placement by a business associate, either male or female, so high on ones thigh! I do trust him, but he is so unaware of how attractive he is and thinks the best of all people. As I realize that I may have over reacted slightly, I get out of the carriage to find my love. I want to kiss him and hold him and show him, right here, in this wooded grove just how much I love him. As I run after him and call his name, I hear growling. My heart beat kicks up to a very unpleasant stuccado. Then I see my lover, frozen still, hands raised in surrender as three wolves surround him. He looks at me in panic, emploring me with his eyes to run. Then, three pair of glowing eyes fix on me. I get one final scream out before I see a blur of fur and then feel teeth slice my throat. Then, nothing.

  15. My lover and I are discovered by cruel and evil husband. He chaining us together attached to a rock at the bottom of his crumbling castle, he watches from one of the towers. The storm rages around us. LIghtning and thunder and the crash of the waves. The high tide rolls in and we drown in each other’s arms declaring to our love to the universe.

  16. It’s late at night, dark and damp. I’ve been with my lover, a man I’m not suppose to associate with due to social status. During our evening of love making we probably had far too much absinthe – getting lost in the Green Fairy! I must leave before someone realizes that I have been gone most the night. I have no money for a carriage so must walk the streets of London to my home. As I’m trying desperately to not be noticed by anyone, I keep to the shadows in the narrow desolate streets that no one in their right minds would travel, especially a lone, inebriated woman. All at once, a trickle of fear crawls up my spine as I realize that I’m not alone. I stop and search the shadows, looking for the reason for this horrible feeling. There is no one there. I call out, but no answer. I force a laugh and turn to continue my mad dash home. As I turn, strong arms wrap around me as a huge shadow becomes a solid, tall broad shouldered man. I am locked in an embrace to which there is no escaping. Before I could even scream, his large hand is pulling my head back and to the side, his fangs sliding into my neck…..

  17. As I slipped away to my private reading nook, I’d trip over one of my many piles of books and tumble down the narrow curved stairs, breaking my neck.

  18. I died in an accident in my laboratory. You know when you have a feeling of de ja vu? I was secretly mixing substances trying to create a potion to jump from one realm to another, believing that’s what it was. There were trials with several errors, errors that caused too many unexplained human deaths. I thought I had the mixture right when the authorities were on to me and I hade to take my own medicine to flee prison. I didn’t make it to another earthly realm, I perished.

  19. While surging across the rough and foreboding countryside in a raging storm, (in order to warn my lover that my betrothed had found us out and would be challenging him) I fall from my steed when he is alarmed at a lightning strike which hit a nearby tree and had it bursting into flames and sounding like an explosion. The damn horse then proceeds to stand over my prone body and rear, repeatedly, thus crushing my poor body into something resembling beet pulp.

  20. I would die during a seance after being possessed by my demonic great great great grandmother who was burnt at the stake for being a witch during the Salem witch trials. It would be a loud and bloody affair during which I would cause the seance guests to turn on each other unveiling two master vampires…….

  21. I would be placed on a bed of nails and they would slowly add weight on top of me. The nails would slowly pierce my body creating excrutiating pain and blood loss. Death would not come fast enough.

  22. Lost in the wilds of Wales, dying of exposure, in pursuit of a charming, handsome, immortal priest.

  23. I would die by taking my own life because the love of my life has been taken from me, tortured and killed because we were forbidden to be together. I can’t go on without him.

  24. I, Neville Smythe, was the second in a duel accompanying my good friend Albert Densmore. A nobleman by birth, Albert had been accused by Baron Musgrave at cheating during a game with playing cards. The Baron insisted on a duel, which Albert readily assented to in order to defend his honor. Baron Musgrave insisted that the duel be conducted on the next Tuesday, at the witching hour, outside of the Athenaeum Club.

    At the appointed day and hour we were present on the field of honor. Unfortunately my friend Albert wasted his shot. Baron Musgrave then deliberately turned his pistol towards me and made his shot. I was quickly felled. I remember The Baron saying “It is better to be feared…” and then I perished.

    Three days later the grave robbers opened my grave. Imagine the look of horror on their repulsive faces when the first digger reached for the signet ring on my right hand even as my left hand cruelly grabbed his throat.

    Thereafter I was a bond servant to Baron Musgrave. The cursed Baron, who a year after the above events transpired, punished me for my insolence by forcing me to injest my beloved friend.

  25. I would be rushing to the not so known and highly secretive vampire forest to alert them of a deadly plot against them where final death is to take them. I would be caught by the evil doers (war hungry humans) and nearly beaten to death because I saw too much. I have to warn the vampires so I muster all the strength I can and make a daring escape where I do nothing but push myself until I collapse on the edges of the mystical forest with the tallest redwood trees where I believe the vampires do live. I’ve heard of the cavernous homes built into the mountain rock on the other side of the forest. So close yet so far. Darkness consumes me.
    Light so bright yet dim at the same time greets my eyes as I open them. Trying to figure out where I am. Something stirs and I turn my head. Fast. So so fast. My eyes focus and learn the light is a burning candle by my makeshift bed. It’s the guy from the open park who I secretly crushed on. He smiles and says I am either very brave or crazy stupid. I quickly warned them of the upcoming deception and war and spoke of how I learned of their existence myself. (Grandmothers stories were in fact truths)
    He tells me how I was found by his Uncle and brought back to the home I am in. Death had nearly consumed me. It was determined that I had tried to reach them for something That must be important as no human has ever traveled so close to their homes and therefore was decided that death would not fully take me. I was turned and am facing my death awakening.
    Now I am no longer just the human messenger but an infant facing the danger and aimed to fight with them.
    But first I must find out why I am burning. So much burning inside……

  26. I imagine I’d have been driving too fast and in order to avoid running someone over I swerved and tragically died in a carriage accident but not before my lover, who I was rushing to meet, found me in time to give me one last kiss.

  27. While sailing off the coast of France, my ship was attacked by my arch nemesis Rath Mcgaden. The battle to protect my ship was long and bloody. My crew and I defeated Mcgaden so we began drinking and celebrating our victory. After a few too many spirits, I climbed up and began swinging from the flagstaff. The wood snapped & I was impaled for all to see in my corset and knickers.

  28. Well since my best friend married my ex husband, I’m going with a dramatic belligerent duel. I don’t have very good aim or depth perception and she is very competitive… However after being married to him (they are now divorced) she would have then thrown herself off of a cliff out of heartbreak because she was stupid enough to fall in love with a cheater. Plot twist, before I breathed my last breath my own Tom came and saved me from my death but I am a little (ok, a lot) crazy from it. I mean as the heroine, I can’t actually die in my own story.

  29. While sewing embroidery on my wedding dress, I prick my finger on the needle and the wound gets infected. I die the night before my wedding of blood poisoning. ❤

  30. I’d fake my own death and stow away on a ship for adventures in a new land, where I would eventually die of a mysterious disease. I’d be old, though, and satisfied with my life.

  31. After locking myself in my own library to enjoy my favourite book one night, I got mistaken for a ghost in my nightdress when I got up to get some water from the kitchen and was shot through the head by a rather scared head butler with an itchy trigger finger….

  32. After finding a fabulous forgotten library in an old mansion (while snooping, naturally), I would be so caught up in reading and exploring that I would forget to sleep or eat and would be found clutching several books to my chest.

  33. This isn’t very fun but it it is realistic. I have Crohn’s disease and I’m certain that would have killed me back then. I would have wasted away slowly and not very pleasantly.

  34. I would totally die in by being shot in a duel with my former best friend. Hell, who’s to say this isn’t how I’m going to go in the 21st century.

  35. A long and slow death from syphilis – and before death I would go more and more mad. However, in my madness I would be immensely happy and my poetic works created in that state would be celebrated forever (or forever hated by literature students…)

  36. I would likely die in a tragic riding accident, being killed in a fall from my horse while chasing a “wolf” off the family estate.

  37. Totally late to this party but here’s my story anyway. Obituary: Miss Glorianna Trotter, daughter of Sir Audley Trotter and Esme Loft Trotter succumbed to food poisoning at her own tea party this Sunday past. Shrimp toast is the suspect, as apparently Miss Trotter was the only one to eat it. Before she died she was heard to say, “Erp. I should never have accepted that latrine diggers catering bid. I die.”

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